WHO IS THIS IDIOT NED VIZZINI?

[hear the deal from the esteemed John Strausbaugh]












 

 

News from the World of Ned

It's A Trap!

Some of you may recently have seen Admiral Ackbar from Star Wars...


"it's a trap!"

...hawking the new Star Wars racer game on Gamecube. It's important for everyone to know at this point that Ackbar is famous for saying the all-encompassing phrase "It's a trap!" in Return of the Jedi. Think about it: school, homework, the SATS, college, internships, day jobs, real work, dating, sex, life... it is a trap. It's all a trap! That's why I suggest everyone make this their home page.

--ned


Best Baseball Quote Ever

Aaron Boone, after clocking a game-winning, bottom-of-the-11th, first-at-bat, first-pitch, immdeiately evident home run for the Yankees: "Derek was just tellin' me...You keep chipping away and eventually the ghosts show up. It's just... it's... stupid."


"stupid"

--ned


Ned Read at "Behind the Book" Fundraiser 10/16/03

I'm part of an exciting new program called Behind the Book, started by my friend and colleague Jo Umans. Behind the Book is going to bring authors (like, uh, me) into schools to tell kids about how they can actually make $$ writing and they don't need to keep it hidden in their blogs. Among other things. I've always felt of myself as sort of a Superman, coming into schools to free students from doing any actual work so they can hear me blab, and this will further the cause...

I did a reading at a fundraiser to kick off Behind the Book with a young writer named Erica Ballester, who responded to a mass mail I sent out to Teen Angst? Naaah... fans two months ago. Erica read a story of her own after I got up there--the idea was to show how we writers "influence" people. She did a great job and she got free food. Thanks to Erica, her Mom, Jo, Andrea (the host of the party), everyone I met and the people who big on my workshop (not sure yet who won). Then the Yankees won the best baseball game I have ever soon. Rock on.


Ned Spoke at Clarion University and Clarion High School in PA 10/8 and 10/9

What a fantastic road trip. Due to the efforts of Teen Angst fan Beth McGuire and Professor Andrea Miller , I went to Clarion, PA

with Naomi to speak at Clarion JS/HS and Clarion University. The 8th graders I worked with did a writing exercise "Eminem Has Died -- How?" which is a nod to one of the plot points of my new book Be More Chill. The college students (about 200 of them!) heard me read and speak at a colloquim and got Teen Angsts signed up the wazoo. (I unfortunately didn't take any pictures of the audience, but I swear--there were a lot of people.) Thanks all! Clarion is an awesome place; I went canoeing in Cook Forest. If you're interested in having me speak at wherever your school is, investigate further.


Translation Concerns for Be More Chill (Funny!)

I got an email from the very competent and polite woman who is translating my next book Be More Chill into German:

Hi, Ned Vizzini,

you wrote a great book! I translate it into German and there are some questions I would like you to answer as fast as possible as they gave me a terrible short deadline

Here we go:

p.25 Who is Rick James?
47 dur
64 phillies
70 pimpin
85 seeing eye dogs
87 poonanti
107 hairy necessaries
118 GLAAD
126 palsy, palsy-ish
214 For a guy, theres something dangling in front of your face or something sticking out your ass.

It would be most helpful, if you could interpret or circumscribe these expressions, so I can see if I am on the right track or not.

So there you go, a free preview of just some of the topics covered in Be More Chill. Also, in German, the title of the book will be simply "Cool".

--ned



Ned Read at Marine Park IS for New York is Book Country, 9/19/03

As with this past spring and last year, I participated in the New York is Book Country School/Author Visits Program. I visited the Marine Park Intermediate School in Brooklyn at 1925 Stuart St. and regailed two groups of students with tales from Teen Angst? Naaah.... For all the students, you guys were great, and the school had some cool welcome materials for me, which you can see here.

Thanks to Lauren Moosbrugger for organizing the event and Ms. Luenstein for hosting me.



Observation on 9/11

Since 9/11, all of the Sept. 11ths in New York City have been gorgeous days--last year very windy (talk of spirits), but never any clouds, and temperate. So the sky has been blue and you have looked up at it and remembered some basic good things like the fact that you're not dead, and you've thought of what you've managed to do since the last 9/11.

The people of pre-exilic Israel and Judah, where the beef originated, followed an autumnal new year, known to scholars as the Tishri New Year. I understand why. I've always thought it was punishing to have New Year at the bleakest time of the year-- that's why we have Christmas/Ramadan/Hannuka/Wigilia/Kwanzaa/whatever. Counting my years from 9/11 is much better.

Here's to where you were on the last 9/11, where you could have been, and where you are now.

When I get a blog on the new site (beta) this is where I'm going to put this stuff.

--ned

img


Ned's Next Book: Be More Chill (173 days until release)

Be More Chill 06/01/04. My next book is called Be More Chill and it will be released 06/01/04. (I guess I just repeated that.) That may seem far away, but soon enough you'll be able to pre-order the book on Amazon. (As soon as they get their act together...sigh...)

Be More Chill is my second book (after Teen Angst? Naaah...) and first novel, which was sold to Talk/Miramax Books (an imprint of Hyperion Books) Feb. 2003. Right now the book is finished, copy-edited, the whole deal; we are finishing up the cover. I have had my first promotions meeting, in which we sat around and discussed how the book will invade your personal space; I'll try to make that as painless as possible. The book is about a guy in high school who finds a pill that makes him cool. People generally think it's very good, which screws with my head because I have a kind of low opinion of myself (don't be fooled by all the pictures in the pictures section).

Be More Chill has been purchased by HarperCollins UK for publication in England and its associated territories July 5, 2004. I will go to London to promote the book in the last week of June/early July '04.

Be More Chill has been sold to Germany (Random House) and France (Gallimard). The German version will be published simultaneously with the American version; the French version has no publication date yet.

Be More Chill is also in the early stages of development into a feature film. Relevant and irrelevant info below!


Be More Chill Sold to France

In the second news of foreign translation (after the German deal), my book Be More Chill, to be published in the states 06/01/04, has been picked up in France. Be More Chill will be published the French company Gallimard as part of their Scripto series, which in the past has included books by Ann Brashares, Joyce Carol Oates, Philip Pullman, Han Nolan and Melvin Burgess.

There is no news yet on when Gallimard is publishing Be More Chill, but it should be within 18 months. The book is going to cost about 10 Euros which should be $12 or $13 depending on those fun foreign currency markets. Initial print run will be 6000-8000 books and there won't be any French bonus import tracks, sorry.


Be More Chill Sold to Germany

My new book Be More Chill, due out in the United States 06/01/04, is going to be published in Germany! (In actual German.) This marks the first time I know of that any of my writing will be translated into another language, with the exception of the Filipino version of Teen Angst that, cruelly in my eyes, was created as an assignment by a class of Filipino students who also had to analyze/react to it. Jeez.

The publisher in Germany will be Bertelsmann Jugenbuch Verlag, which to you and me means "Random House," corporate cousins of the folks who published the mass-market version of Teen Angst. I am being paid in Euros so for the first time it matters what the Euro/US$ exchange rate is, but I can never remember which way works out in my favor. The German Be More Chill is slated to be published simultaneously with the American version (June '04), so they are hurrying up and translating it.


Ned Quoted in "Shoot the Freak" Article in NYPost

Gersh Kuntzman, talented writer for New York's own Post, quoted me (and called me "Brooklyn novelist") in a recent story about a freak that you get to shoot with paintballs at Coney Island. Believe me, this is important. Somehow. [the article]


Ned is Back from Many Jaunts

After a somewhat ridiculous schedule that had me in California, Maine, Barbados and Canada in the space of 5 1/2 weeks (with stops back in New York each time), I am finally back and home for the summer. I have lots of photos to prove it. That I was away, I mean, not that I am here. (I am here, though.)

In most of the places I went, I was only able to get a few pictures, but then I learned how to set the camera on LOW quality so I got a bunch of good ones from my July 4th cruise to Halifax, Nova Scotia. Check them out; I am spending the rest of the summer finishing edits on my new book, pursuing writing projects, starting a new new book, working on the revamped NedVizzini.com (you'll see it soon) and quietly celebrating the 3-year birthday of Teen Angst? Naaah....


The Be More Chill movie

As a result of a top-secret mission this June that involved my friend Marcus, his friend Derrick the Derelict, my agents and myself in Los Angeles, a high-profile production team whose name I cannot reveal as well as a very talented and biting screenwriter have been convinced to turn my next book Be More Chill into a movie. Right now the pitch is finalized and ready to be sold to production studios in late October. I'm going to have a blast forging this film with some of the most talented wanks in the West. More to come!


Last Library Appearance: June 12th at Grand Concourse Branch

Strange as it may sound, NASDAQ, the stock market people, funded a number of visits by me this summer to NYC libraries. They were great and perhaps the best was June 12th at the Grand Concourse library in the Bronx. There were a lot of people there and I autographed dollar bills. (? I don't know why.) Also a lot of Teen Angst? Naaah...'s are getting ordered for the students who came to the reading. Thanks so much guys! And thanks Gloria the librarian, Ms. Edwards the teacher and most of all Sandra Payne for setting all the visits up!


Ned spoke at Barnes & Noble in Aliso Viejo, CA June 3rd!

This was part of my California trip set for Memorial Day Weekend. Nanette at B&N; and uber-Teen Angst fan Robyn Schneider made sure that the appearance was really well-attended (a local school gave extra credit for showing up) and I had a terrific time entertaining kids and their parents and some local vagrants. Thanks everyone! (These kids liked "BE MORE CHILL" as a title for my new book.)


The First Ned Vizzini Fan Site!

Thanks a lot, Paolo Morales. Paolo, who goes to Trevor Day High School in NYC where I have spoken 3 times, made the first (to my knowledge) fan site for Teen Angst? Naaah... and it's a fine piece of work. Check it out--it's nice to see web presence that isn't, uh, done by me. [fan site]


Ned Read at East Side Oral Sunday, April 13th

I wore the burlap sack, which was good last time, but it didn't go over. People, I think, thought I was just some idiot in a burlap sack. Bright points: Quentin and his peeps saying they had to get my book when it came out, watching the inimitable Jonathan Ames do his thing and give me a shout-out, seeing looks of disgust that were so similar to what I saw in high school that they lit the sizzling fire that devotes me to my art. But yo, thanks to Elise Miller for setting it up!


New Video and Audio on NedVizzini.com

After an exhaustive effort, I have put the long-awaited mp3s of me rapping, the video of my debut stand-up comedy excursion and a video of me speaking at a school in the "fun stuff" section.

[audio]     [video]


Ned Read at Power Brunch Saturday, April 5th

Power Brunch is an annual event arranged by Happy Media, Inc. (the people who make sure NedVizzini.com shows up first in Google). It went down in Astoria, Queens this year and, like last year, I had a great time reading. I was pleasantly surprised by the attendance and response to my reading from my new book. Thanks to Elise Miller for joining me and Adam Sherwin for setting is all up. [more info].


Ned Spoke in Ohio Friday, March 21st and Saturday, March 22nd

As arranged by my friend Marcus, who also takes pictures of me and who believed in me when I did not believe in myself, I went on a road trip to Warren, OH Friday, March 21st to speak at the Warren Public Library, Walden Books in the Eastwood Mall in Niles, OH and, at the last minute, College Bound school in Cleveland. Thanks so much to everybody who came to see me and you guys at the College Bound school were great! Awesome trip, might have pictures soon.


Ned Spoke at Lynbrook North Middle School Feb. 25th

I had a great time. Excellent kids. You guys asked great questions, including some I hadn't heard before (not that I can remember them now, of course). Thanks to Roseanne Mitchell for setting this up; pictures are forthcoming.


Ned Spoke at Trevor Day School Friday, Feb. 14th!

I've always had luck with Valentine's Day. Like you know those people who complain that Valentine's Day is a cheap attempt to squeeze money into Hallmark and they hate seeing couples walking around all happy and they're bitter and stuff? Not me. If I don't have a girlfriend, one will drop out of the blue around February 1st and I'll have a nice Valentine's Day and then my life will return to hell 2/16. But anyway, this V-Day I spoke at Trevor Day School in New York City as part of their Everybody Reads event. This is my third year doing it; I've come a ways from vomiting coffee before Everybody Reads 2001.


Ned is in This New Book, Branded

I got interviewed by Allisa Quart in, must've been, the beginning of 2002. The result is my inclusion in Branded, a book that details how teens are marketed to in America. I'm presented as a corporate tool redeemed only by my brown eyes and winning smile, which I disagree with (Teen Angst was, after all, published independently), but they kept some good quotes and the book has some great points so it's all right. Read it:


old news

return to the place whence you cameth